so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
