Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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