I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
