Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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