awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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