just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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