new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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