it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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