So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
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What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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