Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
