so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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