She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
