Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
