This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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