i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize