My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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