Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
