9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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