Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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