what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
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Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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