This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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