i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
