I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
