found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
