this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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