VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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