while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm at about main and main street
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
