Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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