I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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