My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Let's get the cat blown out
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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