i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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