i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
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Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
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There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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