she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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