Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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