Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
