if you like me you must not know who I am
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
