I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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