she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
