just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
false alarm. still invincible.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
