READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
