we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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