i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
