So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
