Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am available for nakedness
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize