508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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