i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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