you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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