I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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