I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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