Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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