I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize