I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
whose parrot is this?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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