Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
