If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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