So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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