So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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