We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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