God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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