did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
