I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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